Aggressive women make it too easy for men

 Do men really like aggressive women when it comes to love?

I hate getting into these conversations with men in fear of sounding like a narrow-minded traditionalist, but nonetheless, I put on my boxing gloves and jump into the ring.

This week, in an attempt to play matchmaker, I was told that Guy X really liked and wanted an aggressive woman. Ding-ding, ring the bell. Round 1.

I wanted to know what it was about aggressive women that turned him on. I was told he liked women who took charge.

Cop out! You like women who do all the work for you is how I see it.

I took this discussion to a few of my male friends and this is what I discovered. Some men like aggressive women, some don’t – but most do. These are some of the responses I got.

“It keeps men from feeling rejected and removes the shyness they may have,” said one man, who is obviously shy.

“It cuts through all the chase,” said another man who appears to cut corners.

“I like being pursued sometimes, too,” said yet another man who clearly lacks drive.

“Men find them attractive because it’s less work for them,” said yet another man who clearly lacks energy.

Well, I say anything worth having is worth fighting for, chasing after, working toward and pursuing with full vigor.

The world is definitely changing. More women are heads of household, and more women are advancing in the workplace and making more money than their male counterparts. This authority is spilling over into love and relationships.

I’m all for girl power to the 10^th power. But I still believe when it comes to love, the man should be the hunter, the predator. It’s a spiritual structure that is hard for me to vacate.

I’m one of those who still believe in courtship. If a man wants to be with a woman, he should woo her with romantic gestures and make her feel like she is the only woman in the world. He should put his best foot forward in getting that first date and keeping her interested.

Call me old fashioned or a hopeless romantic, but my happily ever after will begin with boy meets girl – not the other way around. Heck, I still shiver at the thought of asking a guy to dance.

Men who like aggressive women appear to settle for what comes to them rather than going after what they want or what God has set before them. It’s a lazy approach to love.

If they only knew that once they court a woman the right way, a lady will unleash her aggressiveness at the right times.

U.S. Rep slams GOP policies

Hello all,
This is an article I wrote that appeared on the front page of The Charlotte Post today (6/20/13). Congresswoman Maxine Waters of California was the keynote speaker at the N.C. Congressional Black Caucus annual scholarship banquet on last Friday.

http://www.thecharlottepost.com/clientuploads/CPPDFs/cp062013A.pdf

Life better enjoyed in a pair of flip flops

A young professional man in his mid-thirties landed the job of a lifetime as chief executive officer of a small hospital. It was what he had been aspiring for since he entered the healthcare industry.

He rose quickly through the ranks. It seemed he had it all: a great job making six-figures, a beautiful wife, and a healthy and playful one-year-old daughter.

Life was grand. Or at least that’s the way it appeared from the outside looking in.

He worked from the rising of the sun to the setting of the same. He was always taking calls to put out fires, even on his days off. He carried the weight of his job on his shoulders.

Until one day he realized the life he once knew and cherished had quickly faded away. Time with his wife and child was becoming obsolete. His quality of life had been compromised.

To the astonishment of others, he decided to leave the company in pursuit of a more suitable career that would offer him the balance he needed. This man was fortunate because he realized early in life that the most important things in this world are what you go home to.

Too many times we live unbalanced lives. We work more than we play. We eat at our desk more than we do at our dinner table at home. We wear more dress shoes and pumps than flip flops. We spend more time at work than we do with the ones we love.

It may sound cliché, but at the end of our lives, it’s time with our loved ones that will envelope our thoughts and bring us comfort. It will be the times where we played more that will give us reason to smile.

 Over the years, I’ve been given some great advice from successful professional leaders that I take to heart and try to live by: Don’t take work home with you; sometimes you’ve got to be selfish and put yourself first; work hard, not long; and work to live, not live to work.

True balance is getting up in the morning and putting on your work shoes, but knowing when to take them off and slip on your favorite pair of flip flops.

Still I Rise

Andre Tyson will not soon be forgotten.

The valedictorian of Anson High School "preached" during this speech on Saturday, June 8, bringing the audience to their feet and to tears.

Using bits of the poem, "Still I Rise" by Maya Angelou, Tyson spoke of a hard-knocked life - one of skimpy resources and a bleak outlook. He turned to the streets and even once contemplated suicide.

To paraphrase Dr. Phil, "How did that work for ya?"

It didn't.

So Tyson decided in the ninth grade that he would give academics a try.

At the end of his freshman year, he was fourth in his class. Michelle McLeod was fifth. They then made a pact to finish first and second in their senior class.

Ta-da! Fast forward to Saturday and they did just that. McLeod was salutatorian and was mentioned in Tyson's graduation speech.

He earned full scholarships to Howard University, Wake Forest University and UNC-Chapel Hill. He chose the latter.

Tyson said he was told "you think they are going to let a black man be valedictorian? Or a black girl be salutatorian?"

He responded, "They didn't let us do anything. We earned it."

I am so proud of Tyson because he epitomizes the phrase, "It's not how you start, it's how you finish." 

It's not where you come from, it's where you're going.

It's not how deep you get down ... it's how far you rise.
 
"You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,   
You may kill me with your hatefulness, 
But still, like air, I'll rise."